A Sith’s Halloween
by Master Darth Warious - Lady of Chaos
Summary: An in-between Story for Two Sith Lords and an elf. Darth Maul and Darth Warious give an account of what happened one October month in preparation for Halloween.
1. Chapter 1

Authors note: This takes place a little over a year Darth Maul had been staying with Darth Warious. Zisinj hasn't appeared quite yet but he will in this fic.

For more details of how Darth Maul came to earth read "Two Sith lords and a elf Revised."

....

A Sith's Halloween

....

It was the beginning of October and Darth's Warious and Maul were feeling rather bored.

Warious was tired of hearing advertisements for "spooky world' and Maul was tired of Warious complaining about it.

Darth Warious hated Halloween with a vengeance. All of that stupid tradition of Trick or treat, apple bobbing, and worst of all, the gruesome creatures and faces that start popping up everywhere. Yes she hated Halloween.

Maul was indifferent on the subject. He could care less about the things that went on during the month of October except for the looming threat of Warious' birthday. The only thing Warious liked about this month.

Maul and Warious had no qualms about the 'scary' aspect of Halloween. In fact it was the only thing Warious didn't complain about...too much.

"I'm so sick of these stupid so called 'spooky worlds'." She raged one day.

Maul looked up at his Sith sister. "I thought you liked being scared?" He asked.

"I do but now-a-days the 'scary' things are just barfville. I mean nothing they have out is really scary anymore."

Maul shrugged and turned his attention back to the holonet terminal. "Then make a 'really scary' house if you're so sick of the earthling's version of things."

"I will!" Warious replied defiantly and left the room.

Maul heaved a sigh and began to read the news of the galaxy. Coruscant fell to the Rebel alliance. The attack was brought about by the infamous Rogue squadron. Maul was bored by news of the war and switched from the holonet to earth's world wide web.

Immediately he was bombarded by spam and pop-ups. Swearing in many colorful languages he began to delete each of the ads. Suddenly one caught his eye.

"Build your own House of Horror this Halloween. We'll provide the house you provide the horror! We will design the house however you want it. For more information click here!"

Intrigued, Darth Maul followed the link to the company's main site. Warious might be able to do just exactly as he just suggested. Maybe they could turn it into a way they could get apprentices too.

Maul sighed. He'd only lived here for a year and knew that the Sith order must be restored. To him any way to get a suitable apprentice would be wonderful.

He went up stairs to tell Warious about his findings after marking the site.

Yes, they just might be able to get what they both want...

...

A/N: Review me please.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: If your reading this....THANK YOU! And please don't forget to review.

....

"No! I don't want a 'castle style' house I want a Japanese pagoda style house!" Maul was arguing with the contractor. Warious had eagerly agreed to her Sith brother's scheme on the condition that he handle the contractors. So far he was having trouble.

"We're all out of Pagodas sir, we don't have any left. All we have now are Haunted mansions and castles."

Maul grumbled about inefficient earthlings as Warious came downstairs to see what was going on.

Maul covered the mouthpiece of the phone and asked her, "They don't have any more pagodas. Do you want a castle or mansion?"

"How about a rundown looking mansion, with a dungeon underneath?" Warious replied thinking to herself that there was no way they would get one, but a few minutes of discussion on Maul's part and he got it.

Darth Maul hung up the phone and turned with a triumphant grin to Warious. "We have it. Complete with dungeon."

Warious mouth dropped in amazement but then closed it quickly. "Wow. Who knew you had negotiation skills, and without using the force at that?" For if her brother had used the Force Warious would have surely felt it.

Maul shrugged. "Master Sidious taught me everything I know. He taught me how to negotiate, blend in, fight, kill; everything he felt I needed to learn."

"Did he tell you how to not look scary to earthlings?" Warious jibbed.

"Your friends aren't scared of me." He pointed out.

"That's because they are used to you...and anything strange."

"They will be here tomorrow to set up the house. You will have to be the spokes person then if my face is so scary." Maul threatened.

"No, no, that's okay. You can do it. I was never very good with my negotiation skills." Warious replied and then ran back upstairs to her computer.

.....

"Wow mister, you have one awesome mask!" One of the builders commented to Darth Maul the next day.

"It's not a mask," Maul replied smiling, "My face is permanently marked...tattooed as you may call it."

"Dude! That is so totally like Darth Maul." Another worker said coming over.

Maul shrugged. Warious had warned him that people shouldn't know he was the real Darth Maul. She told him to get a more earthling name if asked. But Maul replied. "My friends call me Darth Maul or just Maul because of my face."

Meanwhile Darth Warious was online getting ideas to add to her own for the haunted house. As she did she was wondering why a building company all the way from Canada was in the States. But it bothered her mind no more as she logged on to Middle-earth to converse with her friends 'in a galaxy far, far away'. (Okay maybe it was a country a little out of reach.) She had just replied to The Random Help Hotline thread when there was a lot of noise coming from outside.

Warious went to the window and looked down. Darth Maul was showing off with a fake lightsaber to a crowd of amazed workers. Warious heaved a sigh, rolled her eyes and went to put a stop to this nonsense while getting her 'list of fright' to a prop maker.

.....

Out in space a shuttle craft otherwise unfamiliar to earth was heading for a collision course in North America.

Inside, a fat Imperial warlord was trying his best to repair the craft so he could land safely...if he ever landed.

......

A/N: Please review.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The next day Darth Warious going meet the prop-maker when a loud sound came from above her head. Looking up she saw a ship coming in at a very unsafe velocity. It just barely missed the top of her house before crashing into her back yard.

Groaning at the thought of seeing her precious hideaway in the wood destroyed Warious went around the back to see what the damage was.

Fortunately the forest itself was unharmed however there was a smoldering ruin of a ship 25 feet before it.

By this time Darth Maul was dressed and outside to find out what all the noise was. Upon seeing the wreckage Maul looked questioningly at his sister. "What did you do this time?"

"I didn't!" Warious protested.

A noise came from the wreckage like someone was inside. Darth Maul stepped forward with a sigh and sliced off a side of the ship so the trapped inhabitant could get out.

Warious put out the rest of the fire with the force and out stepped a fat man in an Imperial officer's suit.

Maul looked over at Warious as she groaned aloud in despair at recognizing the man who stepped out.

Warlord Zsinj looked around his surroundings first noticing a red and black Zabarak male with a metal rod in his hand then noticing the humanoid teen not to far from the Zabarak.

Zsinj recognized the female and ran forward arms outstretched. "Warious my dear!" Zsinj exclaimed coming forward. But Darth Warious ran and hid behind her brother before he got near. Zsinj stopped.

"Keep away from me Zsinj or I'll rip you open from your fat neck down!" Warious called from behind the very confused Zabarak known as Darth Maul.

Zsinj smirked, "You're still your charming self Warious."

"And you still smell like Bantha Poodoo!" She called back.

"WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON?!" A very confused and angry Darth Maul yelled.

"Maul this is Captain Zsinj. Zsinj this is Darth Maul and he can rip you apart for me." Warious 'explained'.

"Excuse me? I am a Warlord. Not a captain." Zsinj pointed out.

"In your dreams sleemo!" Warious shot back still hiding behind Maul.

Darth Maul sighed and stopped any further insults from being hurled around. "Warious you have something to do so go do it!"

Grateful for this opportunity Warious ran off to find a Miss Éowyn about the prop designs and set for the house of horror.

Zsinj looked like he was about to tail her but noticed that Darth Maul was staring intently at him.

"Where do you think you are going?" Maul asked leaning against the house in false causality leaving Zsinj no way to answer without trouble and skillfully blocking him from Darth Warious' previous escape route.

Warious drove to the place she was to meet up with the set/prop designer. They had agreed to meet at a small café through an underling sent to do her bidding.

Warious arrived a few minutes early to order some food and drink before the meeting.

Now Warious was not the tallest of beings. In fact, most were taller then her, and being almost 5'2" it really was an embarrassing height.

While she was ordering her food another female of her height showed up. She had a lightsaber hanging from her belt and had green hair. Not the most normal thing one would see in New Hampshire as most of them wore pink or purple.

Not really able to help herself Warious asked the woman if she was from out of town.

"You could say that," The woman replied, "I'm from Canada."

"Are you a Jedi or a Sith?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because you have a lightsaber. Or did you steal it from Luke Skywalker?" Warious asked remembering what one of her friends used to write about online concerning lightsabers.

"Actually I stole this one from my master Jandalf."

Warious knew who Jandalf was, assuming there is only one Jandalf in the universe.

"Jandalf the Orange? Then you're Éowyn Skywalker!" Warious exclaimed.

Éowyn looked suspicious and backing away asked, "How do you know that?"

"You haven't guessed? I'm the only Middle-earthian form New Hampshire that I know of...I'm Darth Warious."

A/N: Cliff hanging starts here. Please review.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Back at Darth Warious' house Darth Maul was laying down the ground rules for living with the two Sith.

"Never interrupt me when I'm meditating.

Never interrupt Warious when she is meditating.

Never annoy me.

Never annoy Warious; she won't hesitate to kill you.

Never touch me.

Never touch Warious.

And never ever get either of us mad."

"But how am I supposed to do all this?" Zsinj asked after Maul had given him and hour's worth of rules.

Maul shrugged. "You can live someplace else and not have to worry about my rules. If you want to live here Warious will also have another set of rules. They are longer as she is more through on the subject."

Zsinj groaned and sagged to the ground in despair.

"Regardless of what you choose, you will clean up this mess in the back yard before you go."

Zsinj began to wish he had taken Han Solo's offer of kissing his Wookiee instead of ending up here.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

"Warious?!?" a very excited green-haired Jedi padawan asked screeching and bouncing.

"You are the Éowyn I'm to meet with for the sets and props?" Warious replied unsure.

"Eh? Oh yeah. Éowyn paused, looked confused for a long while. "Oh...yeah...right...well...let's get started on it...after I get food!"

Two and a half hours later, the two of them had ate all warheads in nearby area, and succeeded in actually planning out the house, though Éowyn had also managed to eat enough to fill three Hobbits in the meantime as well.

"That ought to cover everything the house needs," Warious said after they had finished going over all of the ideas they had for the house of horror.

"Yep. Does Darth Maul really live with you?" Éowyn asked eager for more information.

"Yes he really lives with me, and yes he is the REAL Darth Maul. But don't go telling anybody." Warious replied. "We had a strange incident this morning before I headed over here."

"Oh?"

"Well, do you remember the Aaron Allston books in the X-Wing series?"

"Ummmm...no? Sorta?" She shrugged, and looked confused again. But then, she was always confused-- even more so when facing a Sithly internet friend.

"Do you remember Warlord Zsinj?" Warious continued.

"Sort of... I think... well, he was in your fan fictions, right?"

"Yeah, well, he landed in my backyard this morning and I don't know what I should do to get rid of him," Warious said flatly, clearly annoyed with the whole business.

Éowyn blinked, and got a very evil look in her eyes for a moment. "He landed in your backyard?!" Éowyn grinned slightly. "I only wish ANAKIN would go and crash in my backyard," she mused. "Oh... well... couldn't you just be very annoying until he decides to go away? Or can I go and flirt with him?"))

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Warious asked both concerned and skeptical. "He was hitting on me and I'm the last person to do that too. He's pretty desperate for female attention. And he's almost as fat as Jabba."

Éowyn shrugged. "Good point...but I HAVE to be annoying. It's my number one goal in life...okay, next to marrying Anakin and actually getting away with stealing my Master's lightsaber, that is...but...still..." she amended. "All right, so...what is the easiest way to annoy a warlord?"

"That's a good question, next question?"

Suddenly, there was a sudden flash of orange and purple fog (never mind the fact that fog doesn't flash.) Éowyn blinked, and stared in awe at the fog, along with all of the other slightly weak-minded people in the vicinity (not including Warious in that number, of course.) "Um...next question..." she repeated, still staring at the pointless fog. "Okay...well...I suppose we have to find out, right?"

Warious waved and imperious hand at the fog and it disappeared. "My apologies that happens sometimes. I mean that I have no real clue as to how to annoy Zsinj. I think I might just have Maul bully him..." Warious trailed off and grinned maniacally at the thought.

Returning the grin, Éowyn sat back down, running a hand through her unnaturally green hair (got that way from meddling in the affairs of wizards...), not even knowing how she had got to be standing up. "Now there's an idea. Now... where are we going?" To translate, she was confused. Not that that was anything new...

"You are going to take care of the prop arrangements while I go to 'take care' of my new 'friend'," Warious told the confused Jedi from Canada.

Warious got in her car and began to think of ways to hopefully get rid of her new pest problem...


End file.
